Checkpoint
[S5.12 : W/T.20]


Girlfriends, actually

The Watchers Council comes to share what they know about Glory. Willow & Tara come out.

BUFFY, GILES, WILLOW, TARA and ANYA are just gathering in Buffy's living room. Buffy seems unprepared for the meeting to start. She is gathering up empty soda cans, a discarded jacket...

BUFFY
I'll just get that...

XANDER enters, his arm in a cast.

XANDER
Sorry I'm late.
(re: cast)
This thing makes driving an adventure
in steering.

Xander looks for a place to sit. Buffy grabs a pile of magazines off the only remaining chair for him.

BUFFY
Dawn left those here...

GILES
It's all right, Buffy. I know this
meeting is short notice.

BUFFY
Mom's still not a hundred percent,
and I guess I haven't really been
taking up the slack...

WILLOW
The place looks fine, Buffy.

XANDER
There's, like, a sweater under the sofa.

As Buffy pulls a sweater from under the sofa...

XANDER
(off Willow's look)
Well, I can't get it. Your troll
broke my wrist.

WILLOW
My troll?

Buffy looks at the sweater. It's military-looking, olive-green with that sort of suede-y patch thing on the shoulder. And it's large -- clearly Riley's. We can see that it's hitting her to find it here with him long gone.

XANDER
That must've belonged to...
(realizes)
Um... aren't we s'posed to have a meeting?

GILES
Yes, we are here for a reason...

WILLOW
(under her breath)
I didn't create the troll...
I didn't date the troll...
(starting to have fun)
In fact I hate the troll.
I helped deflate the troll-
(off Xander's look)
All done.

GILES
I've had some rather... I've had some
news. It seems that the Council of
Watchers has found some information
that may help us out.

There is some general sitting up straight and looking interested.

BUFFY
About Glory?

GILES
Presumably. We'll find out when they
arrive. It could be quite important.

BUFFY
Arrive? They're coming here? Now?
Why do they have to come here?

XANDER
Yeah, don't they have phones? Hallo,
Buffy, here's some stuff we know, pip pip.

BUFFY
Yes. Phones! I'd like them to phone!

TARA
What's so bad about them coming here?
Aren't they good guys? I mean, Watchers,
that's just like whole other Gileses, right?

BUFFY
Yes! They're scary and horrible!

Giles shoots Buffy a wry look.

GILES
They come across a little, well, a
little hard-nosed, but they do share
our agenda. They want to save the
world, kill the demons...

ANYA
Kill the current demons, right?
Current demons.

BUFFY
Giles, I don't want them here.
I don't trust them. Make them
not come here.

GILES
They're probably already on the way.
Our old friend Quentin Travers is
heading up a delegation.

BUFFY
They put me through that thing, that
test and almost killed me and then,
when I was Faith, they almost killed
me again. Honestly, I cannot handle
more almost being killed right now!

ANYA
I don't like the sound of this. They
don't sound ex-demon compatible.

TARA
Are you sure they're English?
(aside to Willow)
I thought English people were gentler
than normal people.

WILLOW
Maybe they won't be so bad this time.
I mean, Buffy, they did think you were
Faith last time. Now that they know
you're just you... maybe they won't care
enough to kill you.

BUFFY
It's not just that. They're going to
screw things up. Everything's kinda
delicate right now. There's, you know,
Dawn to take care of...

XANDER
Yeah, but that's not new. You
always take care of her.

BUFFY
Right, right. I mean it's a
dangerous time. Glory is out
there somewhere and I don't
want the council distracting me...

Phillip sits at the table with Xander and Anya.

ANYA
Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins.
Twenty years old. Born on the fourth
of July, and don't think there weren't
jokes about that my whole life, mister,
'cause there were. "Who's our little
patriot?" they'd say when I was younger
and therefore smaller and shorter than I
am now. And when I was seven, I had
a pet dachshund that died from chocking
on a wiener, which I find ironic.

PHILLIP
So... you spell it A-N-Y-A, then?

ANYA
Yes.

PHILLIP
Fine. Now we can get to the questions.

INT. WILLOW'S DORM ROOM - DAY

Nigel stands, holding a clipboard, looking very imposing. Willow and Tara sit nearby. They look small and nervous.

WILLOW
Questions. Great.

TARA
We can answer questions.

NIGEL
Well, I'd like to know a little bit
more about the Slayer and about
both of you. Your relationship,
whatever you can tell me.

Tara and Willow share a quick alarmed look.

TARA
Our relationship?

WILLOW
We're... friends.

TARA
Good friends.

WILLOW
Girlfriends, actually.

TARA
Yes. We're girlfriends.

WILLOW
(stronger)
We're in love. Lovers. We're gay
lesbian-type lovers.

NIGEL
(expressionless)
I meant your relationship with the Slayer.

TARA
Um... just good friends.

INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT

Scene continues. Phillip, Xander and Anya at the table.

XANDER
Best friends. Willow and me and Buffy -
the three of us have been together from the
beginning. We've always gone on patrols
and done demon research with her and everything.

PHILLIP
Have you mastered any fighting
disciplines over the years?

XANDER
No. But I did get a whole lot of
knowledge about the military...

Phillip looks pleased and writes that down.

XANDER
...and then I lost it.

Phillip erases.

PHILLIP
So you have no special skills or
powers or knowledge that you
bring to the mix. Neither of you.

ANYA
Just enthusiasm for killing the demons.
Go deadness for the demons!

XANDER
I don't have powers, but I do help.

PHILLIP
How? Be specific.

ANYA
He recently tried to reason with
a troll. However, the troll was
ultimately unreasonable.
(confidentially)
Broke his wrist.

XANDER
Oh! Last year, Willow and Giles and me
combined our essences with Buffy. Which
isn't as weird as it sounds.
(proudly)
We merged and I was the heart-part of
a super-Buffy. Again, let me stress the
not-as-weird thing. I'm told it was all
very professional.

PHILLIP
Are you saying that the Slayer needs
that level of help from you often?

INT. WILLOW'S DORM ROOM - DAY

The scene continues. Nigel interrogates Willow and Tara.

WILLOW
(rushed)
No! No, she doesn't need help!

TARA
She'd be fine without us. Sometimes
she goes off and does stuff and doesn't
even tell us.

WILLOW
Not that she's like, a weird loner or anything.

TARA
I'm not sure we're saying this right.

WILLOW
See, here's the thing. We can help because
we do magicks. I'm working on this ball of
sunshine thing. See, I have this theory-

TARA
It's very cool-

WILLOW
If it works, much easier slaying for
Buffy. Not that it's hard for her now-

NIGEL
Interesting. What level are you at?

TARA
Level?

NIGEL
Magical proficiency level.

WILLOW
Oh, a high level. Very high. One of
those... top... levels.

TARA
Five.

As Nigel writes that down:

WILLOW
(mouthed to Tara)
Five?

Tara shrugs.

NIGEL
And you're registered as practicing
witches under the names as you gave
them to me?

TARA
R... r... registered?

WILLOW
Yes! Yes, of course we're r... r...

TARA
Registered.

Lydia and Nigel inventory stock behind the counter. Giles and Quentin sit at the table, Phillip standing behind them - putting books in boxes. The Scoobies sit up on the balcony, legs hanging over like gawkers at a trial.

XANDER
Look at them. Big tough Council
members, picking on the books.

WILLOW
Fascists.

TARA
Why doesn't Mr. Giles just boot 'em
all out of here?

XANDER
'Cause if they deport him, they're
not just destroying his career - they're
condemning the man to a lifetime diet
of blood sausage, bangers and mash.

Quentin Travers looks at his pocket watch and frowns. He restores the watch to his vest pocket, turns to Giles.

TRAVERS
Your Slayer is twenty minutes late
and counting, Rupert.

GILES
Buffy will be here, I assure you.

Beat.

TRAVERS
When?

Everyone is as we left them. The room is silent but for the work of The Watchers. Buffy enters, tired, contemplative, with the sword in her hand.

TRAVERS
You're late.

Buffy answers distractedly, still focused on the sword.

BUFFY
Yeah.

GILES
Was there an attack..?

BUFFY
Yeah.

TRAVERS
Well. We can begin the review at last.
We'll skip over the more obvious--

BUFFY
There isn't going to be a review.

TRAVERS
Sorry?

She's very calm, really, unnervingly so. She hoists the sword as she speaks, holding it up in front of her and laying it gently on the table, pointy end directly at Travers.

BUFFY
No review. No interrogation, no questions
you know I can't answer, no hoops, no jumps...

Nigel is about to speak. Buffy turns to him before he gets a sound out--

BUFFY
...and no interruptions.
(to them all)
See I've had a lot of people talking
at me, last few days. People just
lining up to tell me how unimportant
I am. And I finally figured out why.

She is stepping closer to the table, so she is really above Travers now.

BUFFY
Power. I have it. They don't.
This bothers them.
(strolls about a bit)
Glory came to my house today--

There is a murmur of the crowd, some shock, concern, disapproval--

GILES
Buffy, are you all--

BUFFY
--Just to talk. Tell me I'm a bug,
I'm a flea, she could squash me in
a second... Only she didn't squash
me. She came to my house and she
talked. We had what in her warped
brain probably passes for a civilized
conversation. Why? Because she
needs something from me. Because
I have power over her.
(to the various Watchers)
You didn't come all the way from
England to determine whether I'm
good enough to be "let back in."
You came to beg me to let you
back in. To give your jobs, your
lives, some semblance of meaning again.

NIGEL
Oh, this is beyond insolence--

The reason he doesn't finish the sentence is the sword Buffy whips off the table and hurls across the room, that sticks into the shelf inches from his head. A beat.

BUFFY
(eyeballing him)
I'm fairly certain I said no interruptions.

ANGLE: The gallery where the kids sit. Lovin' life.

XANDER
(quietly)
That was excellent.

ANGLE: BUFFY

BUFFY
You're Watchers. And without a
Slayer you're pretty much just
watching Masterpiece Theatre.
You can't stop Glory. You can't do
anything with the information you
have on her except publish it in the
"Everyone Thinks We're Insano's
Home Journal." So here's how it's
going to work. You're gonna tell me
everything you know. Then you're
gonna go away. You'll contact me
if and when you have more information.
The magic shop will stay open, and
Mr. Giles will stay here as my official
watcher, reinstated at full salary.

GILES
(coughs into his hand:)
--retroactive--

BUFFY
--to be paid retroactively from the
month he was fired. I'll continue
my work, with the help of my friends...

LYDIA
I... I don't want a sword thrown at
me, but civilians... we're talking
about children.

BUFFY
I'm talking about two powerful
witches and a thousand year old
ex-demon.

ANYA
Willow's a DEMON?

But nobody notices that part. Phillip looks at Xander.

PHILLIP
The boy? No power there.

BUFFY
"The Boy"s clocked more field time
than all of you combined. He's part
of the unit.

WILLOW
(to Xander, softly)
That's Riley-speak.

XANDER
(quiet pride)
I've clocked field time.

BUFFY
(to all the Watchers)
You may all be very good at your jobs.
The only way you're ever gonna find
out is if you work with me. You can
all take your time thinking about that,
but I want an answer right now from Quentin.
(turning to him)
'Cause I think he's understanding me.

The echo of his own words is not lost on Quentin. He pauses, as Buffy waits.

TRAVERS
Your terms are acceptable.

WHOOPING AND CLAPPING from the gallery, that dies down after a few moments--

TARA
Sorry. Sorry.

--and a quiet smile from Giles, that expresses even more.

Buffy sits across from Travers. Says quietly, and not unkindly:

BUFFY
See? No begging.

TRAVERS
Rupert, when we inventoried your shop,
we found a bottle of single malt scotch
hidden behind the incense holders.

GILES
Well, it's not that, during working hours--

TRAVERS
I think I could use a glass.

A moment for Giles to recover -- it's him and Travers accepting each other (but it's short).

GILES
(starting to rise)
I suppose a few of us wouldn't mind a--

BUFFY
Just a minute.

Even Giles responds to the authority in her, sitting again without comment.

BUFFY
Glory. I wanna know.

TRAVERS
There's a lot to go through...

BUFFY
I just want to know what kind of
demon I'm fighting.

TRAVERS
Well, that's the thing. Glory isn't
a demon.

BUFFY
What is she?

TRAVERS
She's a god.

A beat, as everyone takes this in. Buffy particularly.

BUFFY
Oh.

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